I reviewed the new versions of Karate Kid and Nightmare on Elm Street without seeing the originals. I leapt bravely into watching Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer without having seen the first flick. Now I’m reviewing the sequel to Wall Street without having seen the first movie.
Continue reading “Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps”
There’s one point in this film where the five people trapped in that ill-fated elevator all look around at each other for something to write with, and no one has anything. I always have a pencil and paper handy myself — I never know when I might have to rush off to the theatre for an emergency review. Or something. So if they’d just had me there, things might have turned out better. Well, except now I’ll never get on an elevator again as long as I live, so the fact that I would almost certainly have a pencil wouldn’t help anyone.
Continue reading “Devil”
There’s probably a fascinating story behind the fact that the very first zombie unleashed upon the earth in this series looks like she should be out clubbing instead of tearing out people’s throats with her teeth; but I don’t know what it is. Yes, what I said on Twitter was true — I’ve never seen any of the Resident Evil movies or played any of the games, though I’m not sure the games thing really matters at this point.
Continue reading “Resident Evil: Afterlife”
This movie started as a fake movie, and you can tell.
Continue reading “Machete”
Now, I while back, I read a novel called The Tourist, by Olen Steinhauer. What I had was known as an advance reader’s copy (it’s all right, I’m a professional), and it featured as a selling point the fact that the book had been optioned for a movie to star George Clooney. I cringed. The problem was that I liked the book; but I don’t like George Clooney. He also struck me as being all wrong for the lead role, and as I read, I would sometimes sigh to myself over how it would soon be ruined on the big screen.
Continue reading “The Tourist and Other Myths”