Saw 3-D

The car booby-trap, featuring an 8-track tape.

Since I can’t possibly eat dinner, I might as well write this review now. There was an anniversary special for a small soda and a small popcorn for fifty cents, which was nice of them, but it didn’t matter. After the first five minutes, I really couldn’t bear the thought of chewing anything.

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Hereafter

George and Melanie stumble through the worst first date in history.

For the first few minutes, you’ll think you walked into a disaster flick by mistake, but hang in there. Marie Lelay (C├ęcile De France, Around the World in 80 Days) is a high-powered TV reporter on vacation in an island paradise with her boyfriend/producer Didier (Thierry Neuvic) when a tsunami hits. Tsunamis, as I learned in my Geophysics class, are caused by earthquakes in or near the sea bed, or underwater volcanic activity, and shouldn’t be called tidal waves because they have nothing to do with tides.
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Red

Helen Mirren and one of her impeccable selection of really big guns.

Red isn’t a reference to the color, though of course there’s a lot of blood. Nor is it a nickname — there are no redheads in sight. It’s actually an acronym, though if you haven’t read the graphic novel, I won’t spoil the surprise by telling you what it stands for. And yes, this was based on a graphic novel of the same name, by writer Warren Ellis and artist Cully Hamner. I think a couple of people in the audience were a little startled to see the DC logo in the opening credits, actually.
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My Soul to Take

The cast at the annual ritual banishing.

You know the drill. Years ago, a creepy serial killer terrorized a small town, promised to get all the people who betrayed him — though in this case, he means his other personalities — then disappeared, etc. He also killed his pregnant wife and killed or wounded probably half the Riverton police force. Also, seven babies were born, some prematurely, on the day that Creepy Serial Killer was killed. At least the day he was supposedly killed, since as usual, his body was never found and he was presumed to have gone into the river. I don’t know why people make such silly assumptions.
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Let Me In

Abby longing to come in; Owen sulking dangerously

Like I’ve said before, there are two kinds of post-apocalypse movies: first, there’s the kind like Zombieland, which are relatively tidy. People might complain about missing their creature comforts, but you never see the struggle for food, or the fact that cleanliness is suddenly next to impossible. That sort of thing is saved for movies like The Book of Eli, where a prepackaged finger wipe from Kentucky Fried Chicken is like gold.
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