Motion sick, that is. My first thought was actually a list of bloodiest movies, but then I realized that I’d have to make a detailed comparison of Piranha and Saw in an effort to determine which one was more bloody, and that just didn’t seem like a fun way to spend the afternoon. So instead we have this list, of flicks that should have come with a warning to take some dramamine.
Motion sick, that is. My first thought was actually a list of bloodiest movies, but then I realized that I’d have to make a detailed comparison of Piranha and Saw in an effort to determine which one was more bloody, and that just didn’t seem like a fun way to spend the afternoon. So instead we have this list, of flicks that should have come with a warning to take some dramamine. Of course the risk is much less now that they’re not on the big screen anymore, but considering the size of some televisions these days, even the Netflix crowd might have to watch out.
The short version: Jason Bourne is back! This super-spy keeps right on leaping over tall buildings and getting involved in fights that would make lesser spies weep.
Spinning Teacup Factor: Intermittent. When there isn’t a fight or a chase scene going on, director Paul Greengrass can actually keep his camera still. But as soon as the action starts, you’ll have all you can do not to fall out of your seat with dizziness while you try desperately to figure out who just gave who a roundhouse kick to the face.
4. District 9
The short version: Aliens crash-land in South Africa and quickly become a repressed minority, crammed into shantytowns. When a bureaucrat gets embroiled in the lives of two of these aliens, everything turns a little strange.
Spinning Teacup Factor: Frequent. The first half of the movie in particular is done in documentary style, so there’s a lot of jostling to help make you feel like you’re part of the action. Things smooth down more in the second half, though by then you’re in some danger of feeling queasy because of some of the unpleasant things being shown on the screen.
The short version: Zombies are busily taking over England, just like the first movie, only this time the soldiers are a little more helpful.
Spinning Teacup Factor: Frequent. There’s no ‘camera along for the ride’ gimmick, but many times it seems like the director wants you to feel like you’re running right along with the fugitives. Which is fine, except when you’re also seeing everything in green and black through a wildly flailing night-vision scope and you can’t even tell what’s happening to who when. Also, helicopter blades. Ugh.
The short version: A TV crew is assigned to follow a team of firemen on their nightly rounds. When they enter an apartment building where an elderly woman seems in need of help, they discover that they’re more in need of help to get away from her.
Spinning Teacup Factor: Nearly constant. The story is told through the camera the TV crew has, so you never know when your view might lurch, jump, or otherwise make you tilt a little in your seat. Also, beware of what happens when a running camera is used as a weapon. Gah.
The short version: When a large, creepy, very angry alien crashes a going-away party, the guests end up running for their lives.
Spinning Teacup Factor: Constant. This time there is a camera along for the run, with one character stubbornly filming everything, because that’s what he was told to do back when it was still a party and not a struggle for existence. This leads to some annoying improbabilities — for instance, how the decidedly un-athletic looking camerman can leap from one collapsing roof to another while still holding on to the camera and even pointing it generally straight (I think; it was hard to tell) — but mostly means that in this 85-minute movie, the camera is still for a grand total of a minute and a half at best.