MovieCriticND's blog

Unstoppable

It's the weekend of one word movie titles! Unstoppable > Skyline, and I'm not basing that on the number of letters in the name.

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Chris and Denzel head out for another day of saving the universe.

Skyline

The trailer looked so cool. It was such a mysterious teaser, I really wanted to see the film. But now I know why it was so mysterious. If they'd actually shown us anything of the movie except special effects shots, no one would have paid to see it.

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The real stars of the film: the alien ships and the things that go boom.

Megamind

If you've seen the 1978 Superman movie, with Marlon Brando as Jor-El, then a good part of this movie will give you déjà vu. Will Farrell doesn't do a very good Marlon Brando impression, but then, it isn't really supposed to be all that good. I don't think so, anyway. Will Farrell was actually quite bearable, that's the point.

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Megamind and Metro Man: The eyebrows have it.

Saw 3-D

Since I can't possibly eat dinner, I might as well write this review now. There was an anniversary special for a small soda and a small popcorn for fifty cents, which was nice of them, but it didn't matter. After the first five minutes, I really couldn't bear the thought of chewing anything.

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The car booby-trap, featuring an 8-track tape.

Hereafter

For the first few minutes, you'll think you walked into a disaster flick by mistake, but hang in there. Marie Lelay (Cécile De France, Around the World in 80 Days) is a high-powered TV reporter on vacation in an island paradise with her boyfriend/producer Didier (Thierry Neuvic) when a tsunami hits. Tsunamis, as I learned in my Geophysics class, are caused by earthquakes in or near the sea bed, or underwater volcanic activity, and shouldn't be called tidal waves because they have nothing to do with tides.

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George and Melanie stumble through the worst first date in history.

Red

Red isn't a reference to the color, though of course there's a lot of blood. Nor is it a nickname -- there are no redheads in sight. It's actually an acronym, though if you haven't read the graphic novel, I won't spoil the surprise by telling you what it stands for. And yes, this was based on a graphic novel of the same name, by writer Warren Ellis and artist Cully Hamner. I think a couple of people in the audience were a little startled to see the DC logo in the opening credits, actually.

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Helen Mirren and one of her impeccable selection of really big guns.

My Soul to Take

You know the drill. Years ago, a creepy serial killer terrorized a small town, promised to get all the people who betrayed him -- though in this case, he means his other personalities -- then disappeared, etc. He also killed his pregnant wife and killed or wounded probably half the Riverton police force. Also, seven babies were born, some prematurely, on the day that Creepy Serial Killer was killed. At least the day he was supposedly killed, since as usual, his body was never found and he was presumed to have gone into the river. I don't know why people make such silly assumptions.

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The cast at the annual ritual banishing.

Let Me In

Like I've said before, there are two kinds of post-apocalypse movies: first, there's the kind like Zombieland, which are relatively tidy. People might complain about missing their creature comforts, but you never see the struggle for food, or the fact that cleanliness is suddenly next to impossible. That sort of thing is saved for movies like The Book of Eli, where a prepackaged finger wipe from Kentucky Fried Chicken is like gold.

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Abby longing to come in; Owen sulking dangerously

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

I reviewed the new versions of Karate Kid and Nightmare on Elm Street without seeing the originals. I leapt bravely into watching Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer without having seen the first flick. Now I'm reviewing the sequel to Wall Street without having seen the first movie.

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Shia and Michael pose for the movie poster

Devil

There's one point in this film where the five people trapped in that ill-fated elevator all look around at each other for something to write with, and no one has anything. I always have a pencil and paper handy myself -- I never know when I might have to rush off to the theatre for an emergency review. Or something. So if they'd just had me there, things might have turned out better. Well, except now I'll never get on an elevator again as long as I live, so the fact that I would almost certainly have a pencil wouldn't help anyone.

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It's about five people stuck in an elevator. You expected explosions?