MovieCriticND's blog

Return of the Comic that Ate Hollywood (Green)

It's been five months since the original, so it must be time for the sequel. Okay, really, I just couldn't bring myself to watch anything on offer this past weekend,* and I really feel I should post something. One of these days I might pass 100 readers. Besides, there are actual new developments in the field of superhero flicks!

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Green Hornet, meet Green Lantern, Lantern, Hornet.

Salt

Considering how much time, money, and effort was put into the buzz about this flick, someone really should have figured out that it had better not open the week after Inception. Though to be fair, based on the early, pretty uninformative trailers for Inception, that movie could have turned out to be something of a yawner, so maybe the Salt people just didn't have enough to go on.

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Angelina Jolie, showing off two of the looks she displays as super-spy Saltl

Inception

You know those "late for class" dreams that so many people seem to keep having even years and decades after leaving school? I still have those now and then. Thankfully, I never had any of the abruptly-ending staircases they have here, but there were stairs that skewed off at dangerous angles, where walking was next to impossible and I was forced to go on hands and knees to reach the top. In the dream, I would rant and complain about what a stupid style of architecture this was, but it never occurred to me that there was actually anything improbable about it until I woke up.

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Arthur and Random Bad Guy walk on walls. And ceilings, and floors.

Quarantine v. [REC]

Recently -- without quite realizing I was doing it, because I just don't pay enough attention to the behind the scenes stuff sometimes -- I rented the original version of Quarantine, a Spanish film called [REC]. I also accidentally discovered that -- on this DVD, at least -- it's possible to have both dubbing and subtitles on at the same time. It was weird, because they didn't always match.

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Compare and contrast the two Angelas. Well, compare, at least.

Predators

Turns out Adrien Brody isn't so much an action hero, as an action anti-hero. He's rude, stubborn, and cares more about his giant knife than any of the people he finds himself stranded with. On the other hand, none of those things are all that noticeable, since that description fits pretty much all of the characters in the film.

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Sniper Alice Braga and her Really Big Gun

The Last Airbender

Once there was an animated series called Avatar: The Last Airbender. Thanks to James Cameron, no one can use the name Avatar anymore, so we're stuck with the subtitle. I haven't had cable in years, so I didn't know the series existed myself until I started seeing all this buzz. M. Night Shyamalan likes to keep us all on our toes with his choices of subject, apparently. His last name, in case you're wondering, is pronounced "sir", because on the billion to one chance I ever meet him, that's what I'm going to call him. I hear he gets mad if you mispronounce his name.

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The Last Airbender movie cast versus the animated series cast.

Knight & Day

Poor Tom Cruise. He had to settle for third place in the box office, behind Toy Story 3 and some Adam Sandler thing. I'd say poor Cameron Diaz, too, but in her case this is a serious step up from The Box, so she's not doing so badly.

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Tom and Cameron as Roy and June, on the run.

Jonah Hex

I went to see a movie this weekend, really. It was only 80 minutes long, but it was still a movie. But it was just kind of... there. I watched, I understood what was going on -- not that it was difficult -- but afterwards most of it started drifting slowly out of my head. It'll never reach the point of that movie whose title I can never remember, because at least it had some visually interesting moments, but I'm still left wondering exactly what I paid $7.50 to see.

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Comic-book Jonah Hex and Josh Brolin in full costume.

The Karate Kid

I have a new plan. A cunning plan, even. I'm going to start watching and reviewing every TV show or movie from the 1980's that was ever considered financially successful and/or a cult classic. Then, when someone gets around to remaking, say, Airplane! or Night Court for the big screen, all I have to do is change the actors' names and maybe a few other details, and my review will be all set! It'll be a huge timesaver, sort of like the way newspapers keep updated obituaries ready for celebrities.

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Dre at the tournament during his final match.

Splice

As the credits were rolling and everyone else was scampering to leave the theatre -- though they were really short credits, bizarrely, so they almost didn't have to bother -- the woman who'd been sitting two rows behind me said to her friend, "That was so ethically questionable." She has a point, even though twenty minutes before that she and her friend were both laughing so loudly that anyone happening by would have assumed there was a comedy playing on the screen. Sadly, though, that particular scene did have its laughable aspects, so I can't entirely blame them.

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Elsa and Dren come face to face for the first time.