MovieCriticND's blog


It's hard to believe we've had almost a half-century of the zombie-style post-apocalyptic genre -- and that's only going back to 1968 and Night of the Living Dead, never mind the very early zombie flicks of the 1930's. But though there are relatively high-budget zombie films like the 28 duology which are already becoming classics, the low-budget zombie movies don't have to suffer when compared to their wealthier cousins, and Survivors proves it.

A man and his victim. No, that isn't a zombie menacing the helpless young woman.

Death Valley

Since getting my certificate of completion from the TCM online course on noir movies, I'm possibly a slightly more professional critic, though admittedly I wasn't sure that being better able to categorize what 'film noir' means would be a great deal of help in the modern movie industry. It turns out that it can be, though, as in this particular movie, Death Valley (trailer goodness here).

The cast and the dead body. Not the best start to a wedding trip.

Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials

I'm wondering if this is going to be the latest conversation starter. "So, how about that young adult post-apocalyptic trilogy of your choice?" It even works for books and movies, so it's perfect, right? As I've said about the first installment of this series, they're all starting to blur together somewhat and the problem isn't likely to get any better, but there have been worse trends, I suppose.

The kids run over a fallen building. It never actually happens, but looks cool.

The Transporter Refueled

I suppose Rebooted would also have worked, but that particular pun might have been harder for people to catch. Strangely, I did see the original Transporter movie, but I have to admit I had forgotten most of it and I never did find the time to rewatch it before going to this one. That may be just as well, though, since I think that might have made me even more distracted during this flick, and I was barely able to pay attention as it was.

See? Card catalog. Who even uses those things anymore?

Fantastic Four

Right. I've decided to pretend that this isn't a Fantastic Four movie, since it could have just as easily been about any random group of people getting weird super-powers. Mind you, even the most successful self-deception isn't going to make this into a good movie, but at least it makes it less painful to my childhood memories of reading the FF comics. And Michael Bay wasn't even involved.

The cast and some energy thing. I'm too burnt out to think of funny captions.

Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation

I was ready to give up on ever finishing this review -- frankly, I almost fell asleep in the theatre, which doesn't exactly inspire me to write -- but it occurred to me that this would be good practice for writing about the next Fantastic Four movie, so here I am.

Solomon Lane w/gun. He looks like he's trying to decide where to go for lunch.


Somehow Marvel keeps taking chances on weird titles like Guardians of the Galaxy and now Ant-Man and turning them into weird hits. I'm not sure how they're managing this, exactly, but if anyone ever figures it out then all major Hollywood studios need to be informed immediately so that the secret will hopefully not be lost.

The Ant-Man and his trusty steed, the flying ant.


Money can't buy happiness, etc., but if it could buy you a new, healthy body whenever you wanted one, like it does here, then I think a lot of people would call that close enough. Of course this happiness has its dark side or it would be a very different sort of movie, but you can't have everything. You see, while Science has perfected the art of transferring the entire contents of the human brain from one body to another, it has sadly neglected the art of creating fresh bodies in the lab, so it has to make do with whatever it can find lying around.

Damian and his "wife" share a really awkward hug.

Terminator: Genisys

Those darn time-traveling robots are up to their old tricks, covering their tracks again. Certainly they've found a new, scary way to blend in better, though thankfully not the same sort of way they had in the last Terminator flick, which is probably better forgotten. It's a good time to forget anything about the previous Terminator movies that you might not have liked, of course, since everything's been rebooted and all you really need to know is the basic plot of the first movie.

Arnold "smiling".  It still needs work, as you might imagine.

San Andreas

I'm still wondering if it's possible to wedge a 6'4" person into a normal helicopter, but they make it look possible, at least, since movies are good at that. Dwayne Johnson, aka Hercules, gets to be the hero again, this time an airborne one, though this is a bit like a Bond movie in that the main characters get to try out all sorts of different forms of transportation, some of them stolen, though to be fair, they are right in the middle of a disaster by the time the legal aspects start getting a bit hazy.

The title character, the fault itself.