Bryan Cranston

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Poor Godzilla. Being an alpha predator is such a thankless job. He's only trying to keep the world safe from giant mutant praying mantises, and all he gets is the military shooting at him, when they aren't just stalking him, waiting for another excuse to shoot. It's mostly the U.S. Navy shooting and stalking, since he's an amphibious ape-lizard alpha predator, so he swims when he isn't stomping around on two legs like a T-Rex. I realize that's a pretty odd-sounding description, but, well, Godzilla's always been odd-looking.

Godzilla challenges the Kraken from the Clash of the Titans to a roaring contest

Total Recall

First, forget Mars. I'm not trying to be cute; there's just no Mars in this version of the story. I found that kind of a letdown. The first part of the movie is still much the same as the original 1990 version, since they didn't get to Mars right away, and Colin Farrell does say once that he'd like to go to Mars, but it just isn't the same.

Quaid v. Quaid, past and present. And future, sort of.

John Carter

The movie 79 years in the making! That's usually a very bad sign, of course. As a general rule, the longer a film lingers "in development", the worse it gets. Apparently it resets after three-quarters of a century or so, though, since this one doesn't seem to have suffered much.

The infamous white apes in the arena, trying to eat John


This time, the movie really is based on the book of the same name, by James Sallis. The main character in Drive is Driver, so that's easy to remember. Well, Driver isn't actually his name, at least I don't think it is, but that's what everyone calls him. Hugh Jackman almost played the character, which would've been funny if he had, since his character in Australia was called Drover.

Driver, Irene, and Benicio out driving, because what else would they do?