Cameron Diaz

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The Counselor

That's counselor as in lawyer, not a guidance counselor or anything like that. The counselor in question is played by Michael Fassbender of Prometheus, and the poor guy doesn't even get an actual name. All his friends and acquaintances call him counselor, and his fiancée, Laura, (Penélope Cruz, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides) doesn't ever call him anything as far as the audience gets to hear.

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Malkina climbs on Reiner's car. You do NOT want to know what she's about to do.

The Box

Once upon a time, a man named Richard Matheson wrote a short story called "Button, Button," and it was good. Sixteen years later, that story was rewritten for the small screen as an episode of the Twilight Zone, and it was still pretty good. Now, it's been rewritten yet again for the big screen, as The Box, and frankly, it's pretty awful.

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James & Cameron discuss the morality of accepting money for working on this film

The Green Hornet

I knew going in that all the good stuff for this flick was already out there in the trailers. It just had this feel about it, you know? Apparently, though, most people don't watch trailers before going to these things, because at least two-thirds of the audience laughed uproariously at the gas-gun incident. It was funny the first time, but I'd already seen it twelve times, and it just made me sigh.

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Jay Chou steals the show while beating up the bad guys.

Knight & Day

Poor Tom Cruise. He had to settle for third place in the box office, behind Toy Story 3 and some Adam Sandler thing. I'd say poor Cameron Diaz, too, but in her case this is a serious step up from The Box, so she's not doing so badly.

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Tom and Cameron as Roy and June, on the run.

Shrek Forever After

I've decided that the Shrek franchise is no longer for kids. Any film that contains the phrase "metaphysical conundrum" is clearly only pretending to be aimed at children. Plus I wasn't the only adult without a kid in tow, so it's official.

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Donkey perches atop Shrek in classic style.