Liam Neeson

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Taken 3

So the good news is that this one was actually a little better than Taken 2, though of course that's not saying much. But they moved away from the initial plot this time, which helped, except that also leads us to the bad news: The title is now completely wrong, since no one really gets taken this time, unless they mean in the sense of being fooled, like 'taken for a ride', though the 'plot twist' at the end is hardly a shock.

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Liam meets Kung-Fu Panda.

Taken 2

Sometimes after watching an action flick -- or even during, if it's not very good -- I wonder a little about the aftermath. You know, the hero has just triumphed over the bad guys and is all worn out and wounded, the bodies of his fallen enemies all around him. And then the cops show up in droves to arrest him, wanting to know what, exactly, this heavily-armed maniac thinks he's doing. They never show the kind of fast-talking that must require, and I think they should one of these times, or at least discuss it a little. That happens very rarely, sadly.

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Liam talking on his cell. Kinda drains all the tension out of the fight scene.

Taken

This should more properly be called Kidnapped, and not be confused with the funky Stephen King miniseries of the same name. It's a simple title for a simple story: a girl is grabbed and Dad doesn't like it, basically; but it's also a good example of what can be done with a good but unremarkable script if you give it a bunch of really good actors.

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Hint: No one who gets in Liam's way should feel lucky.

Battleship

Somehow -- I hesitate even to guess on the details -- Hasbro persuaded Universal Pictures that it would be cool to base a movie on the Battleship game. Hasbro gets 5%, which I guess makes sense since all they provide is a little name recognition, really. Either that or they didn't bother to bargain much. I couldn't find anyone who was interested in going along to see this flick, though, which is usually a bad sign.

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The movie is more high-tech, but otherwise this version is better.

Wrath of the Titans

Ancient Greece's most dysfunctional family is back, and there's going to be trouble. A few people are back from the Clash of the Titans, namely Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Danny Huston, and of course Sam Worthington, playing Zeus, Hades, Poseidon, and our hero Perseus respectively.

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Perseus bravely stabs a giant plot hole. Okay, it's really a Cyclops.

Clash of the Titans

I mentioned once before that in many movies, the best way to tell the heroes from the villains is to look at their offices. Impossibly neat and tidy office = villain. Terribly messy and disorganized office = hero. Well, no one has any offices here, but this time you can tell a lot by the tails. Anything with a tail (prehensile, not one that just hangs there) is trying to kill people.

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The Kraken shows off allll his huge, sharp, pointy teeth.