Taylor Kitsch

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Battleship

Somehow -- I hesitate even to guess on the details -- Hasbro persuaded Universal Pictures that it would be cool to base a movie on the Battleship game. Hasbro gets 5%, which I guess makes sense since all they provide is a little name recognition, really. Either that or they didn't bother to bargain much. I couldn't find anyone who was interested in going along to see this flick, though, which is usually a bad sign.

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The movie is more high-tech, but otherwise this version is better.

John Carter

The movie 79 years in the making! That's usually a very bad sign, of course. As a general rule, the longer a film lingers "in development", the worse it gets. Apparently it resets after three-quarters of a century or so, though, since this one doesn't seem to have suffered much.

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The infamous white apes in the arena, trying to eat John