Now, normally I would consider the combination of the Coen Brothers and Jeff Bridges to be a terrifying one. It’s been ten years or so since I’ve seen The Big Lebowski, but I still cringe at the memory. Actually, for a long time, I cringed every time I heard the word “dude”. But even so, I felt pretty safe going to this one, since it was a remake and all. And if the imdb database of quotes is anything to go by, not much of it has changed.
Twenty-eight years ago, a bunch of guys with a computer that had just 2MB of memory — the same size as the little memory stick I use to back up my stuff — somehow managed to create TRON. I shudder to contemplate the size of the computers they used for the sequel.
I couldn’t make it to the theatre yesterday. I was pretty sure I’d barely make it out of my driveway, so I didn’t even try. Therefore, I’m curled up under a blanket reading comic books. Okay, more accurately, curled up under a blanket reading about comic book movies. I know, it’s only been four months this time, but hey, I need something to write about, since I didn’t get the chance to see all the weird camera angles they apparently used to make Johnny Depp look more than two inches taller than Angelina.
Once upon a time, two clans somewhere in the Far East were at war with each other. Neither side was willing to back down until every person on the other side was dead. Why? I couldn’t tell you. If you want to know why things happen in this movie, prepare for disappointment.
Now, I’ve reviewed kids’ movies before, and it hasn’t been that bad — aside from the embarrassing moment at Planet 51 when I realized that I really should have brought a kid along so I’d be less conspicuous. But thanks to the fact that it was Thanksgiving, or maybe the fact that this was Disney’s 50th animated film, or just my sheer bad luck, this time things were more like what you’d expect to find at a kids’ movie. That is to say, lots of kids, none of whom seemed willing either to sit still or to be quiet.
Continue reading “Tangled”
There’s no such thing as a casual Harry Potter fan anymore. I mean, maybe there never was, but there certainly isn’t anymore. For instance, I used to be able to go to the Harry Potter movies and, y’know, grasp what was going on.
The trailer looked so cool. It was such a mysterious teaser, I really wanted to see the film. But now I know why it was so mysterious. If they’d actually shown us anything of the movie except special effects shots, no one would have paid to see it.
If you’ve seen the 1978 Superman movie, with Marlon Brando as Jor-El, then a good part of this movie will give you déjà vu. Will Farrell doesn’t do a very good Marlon Brando impression, but then, it isn’t really supposed to be all that good. I don’t think so, anyway. Will Farrell was actually quite bearable, that’s the point.
Since I can’t possibly eat dinner, I might as well write this review now. There was an anniversary special for a small soda and a small popcorn for fifty cents, which was nice of them, but it didn’t matter. After the first five minutes, I really couldn’t bear the thought of chewing anything.