The Tourist and Other Myths

Now, I while back, I read a novel called The Tourist, by Olen Steinhauer. What I had was known as an advance reader’s copy (it’s all right, I’m a professional), and it featured as a selling point the fact that the book had been optioned for a movie to star George Clooney. I cringed. The problem was that I liked the book; but I don’t like George Clooney. He also struck me as being all wrong for the lead role, and as I read, I would sometimes sigh to myself over how it would soon be ruined on the big screen.

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Piranha 3-D

The real star of the film glares at you with a fishy eye.

I thought I was loopy, going to see this movie. At the ticket counter, I mumbled the title in shame and the girl had to ask me to repeat it. But what was I going to do, watch the sequel to a kids’ movie that I hadn’t even seen? Or that odd-looking comedy with Jennifer Aniston? Thanks to that huge, unpleasant ad on imdb, I couldn’t bear to take the risk of seeing what’s his name make that funny face again.

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The Other Guys

Allen and Terry use Sir David as a shield from the critics. It doesn't work.

First of all, I don’t like Will Ferrell. I’m honestly not sure why they’re still letting him star in major motion pictures. And I don’t really like Mark Wahlberg, either, after that whole Max Payne thing. I wanted to go see Middle Men because yes, a movie about the economics of internet porn sounded more appealing than this. But it wasn’t playing around here. Stupid pseudo-wide-release.
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Salt

Angelina Jolie, showing off two of the looks she displays as super-spy Saltl

Considering how much time, money, and effort was put into the buzz about this flick, someone really should have figured out that it had better not open the week after Inception. Though to be fair, based on the early, pretty uninformative trailers for Inception, that movie could have turned out to be something of a yawner, so maybe the Salt people just didn’t have enough to go on.

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Inception

Arthur and Random Bad Guy walk on walls. And ceilings, and floors.

You know those “late for class” dreams that so many people seem to keep having even years and decades after leaving school? I still have those now and then. Thankfully, I never had any of the abruptly-ending staircases they have here, but there were stairs that skewed off at dangerous angles, where walking was next to impossible and I was forced to go on hands and knees to reach the top. In the dream, I would rant and complain about what a stupid style of architecture this was, but it never occurred to me that there was actually anything improbable about it until I woke up.
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Quarantine v. [REC]

Compare and contrast the two Angelas. Well, compare, at least.

Recently — without quite realizing I was doing it, because I just don’t pay enough attention to the behind the scenes stuff sometimes — I rented the original version of Quarantine, a Spanish film called [REC]. I also accidentally discovered that — on this DVD, at least — it’s possible to have both dubbing and subtitles on at the same time. It was weird, because they didn’t always match.
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