Surrogates

New this year: FBI Ken and Barbie

Bruce Willis with hair! When’s the last time you saw that? We’re talking bleached-blond surfer-dude hair that flops over his forehead. And yet, after the first moment of shock, it doesn’t look all that silly, which is a pretty impressive achievement, I’d say.

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Resident Evil: Afterlife

The three biggest guns in the flick, walking headfirst into a trap.

There’s probably a fascinating story behind the fact that the very first zombie unleashed upon the earth in this series looks like she should be out clubbing instead of tearing out people’s throats with her teeth; but I don’t know what it is. Yes, what I said on Twitter was true — I’ve never seen any of the Resident Evil movies or played any of the games, though I’m not sure the games thing really matters at this point.
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