Jupiter Ascending

Jupiter with gun. She doesn't need any rescuing at the moment, thanks.

I wasn’t too sure what to make of the previews for this movie, which makes sense since now I’m not sure what to make of the movie. It was fun and all, I wasn’t bored, but it also never quite grabbed me like it should have. But let me try explaining a little of the plot and see if I can figure out where things might have gone a bit awry.

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The Book of Life

I just had to use a picture of La Muerte's wonderful hat.

This didn’t quite seem like a kids’ movie, despite being animated — after all, it’s about people dying and going to the afterlife — but kids’ movie it was, and again I felt a little weird about being in the theatre. I really think it would have freaked me out a little when I was a kid, though of course I’m a coward.
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Public Enemies

The man with the large gun says you must like this movie.

It’s enemies plural because there are several of them — and you may even have heard of Pretty Boy Floyd, for instance, though you have to look fast to see him in this movie — but it’s really all about Public Enemy #1, of course, Mr. John Dillinger himself. You can tell he’s the important one, not to mention the charismatic one, because they got Johnny Depp to play him. (And let me just add here how incredibly relieved I am that they didn’t let Leonardo DiCaprio play him.
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The Eagle

Marcus and Esca eye each other warily for the four thousandth time.

There’s something of a legend around the Ninth Legion of the Roman Empire. More properly called the Legio IX Hispania, or the Spanish Legion — not because they were from Spain, but because they helped beat that area into submission in the 40’s B.C.E. — the story says that they were wiped out in the Scottish Highlands by fierce Celtic warriors in about 120 A.D. Five thousand men were lost, and after that humiliating defeat the emperor Hadrian built the wall that now bears his name, to keep those scary Picts out of the civilized world.
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