Fury

Fury's crew in a rare moment when they're not all harassing each other.

This probably isn’t the best movie to see the same weekend as The Book of Life, since it really was hard to switch gears and write this review. It doesn’t help that I’m not entirely sure what to say about this one, either, since at times it was very good and at other times I found myself wondering why, exactly, they had put a particular scene in, as sometimes it seemed like they were just trying to be artsy or surreal or something.

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Noah

The ark as geysers appear to help the flooding along. Thar she blows!

Someone asked me yesterday if I’d liked the movie, and I had to say I wasn’t sure yet. I’m still not quite sure, actually, though that may be partly because, though I wasn’t sure what to expect, I certainly didn’t expect rock monsters. I’m no biblical scholar, but I’m pretty sure those aren’t even in the Apocrypha. All right, technically they’re fallen angels, but they look like rock monsters and they can get pretty mean.

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Gamer

Just a small sample of the hideousness that is the wardrobe for this film.

The title refers to video gamers, not the role-play variety of gamer like me. Yes, I am a geek, and yes, I am a girl. But I’ve never quite understood the attraction of a first-person shooter sort of game, and after watching this, I understand it even less. Of course, I’m sure that if you play Halo 47 you won’t be treated to the graphic images of legs flying through the air without bodies attached or of heads being blown off, so at least you don’t end up feeling faintly queasy like I did here.

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The Three Musketeers

3 Musketeers + 1 horse with a bad dye job. Worse, her name is Buttercup.

I’ve read that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, when writing a Sherlock Holmes story, used to start with the solution and then fill in the plot and clues that would lead to that solution. My suspicion is that something similar happened here. I think someone said, “Hey, you know what would be really cool? If there was an airship battle over Notre Dame that knocked gargoyles off the roof!” Then someone else said that it would be even better if they were steampunky airships, and then someone else said that it would be even better if there was lots and lots of swordfighting, too.
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