The Equalizer

What do you see when you look at Robert? One scary guy, that's what I see.

It’s only getting worse — not only are they still remaking shows I haven’t seen, they’re remaking shows I’ve barely even heard of. I didn’t even know this was a remake until a friend of mine casually mentioned that he wanted to see this movie because he’d liked the TV show. Then I vaguely remembered the show’s existence, though I thought the main character was a retired cop. He isn’t, in either incarnation; he’s ex-CIA, though of course the movie version is at least 27 times scarier than the TV version due to ratings issues.
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Noah

The ark as geysers appear to help the flooding along. Thar she blows!

Someone asked me yesterday if I’d liked the movie, and I had to say I wasn’t sure yet. I’m still not quite sure, actually, though that may be partly because, though I wasn’t sure what to expect, I certainly didn’t expect rock monsters. I’m no biblical scholar, but I’m pretty sure those aren’t even in the Apocrypha. All right, technically they’re fallen angels, but they look like rock monsters and they can get pretty mean.

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Dream House

Daniel Craig explores his dream house's spooky, badly-lit basement.

Once upon a time, there were two little girls who lived in a house in the middle of a forest. Actually, it’s in the middle of a subdivision in the middle of a forest, but sometimes it really does seem like it’s terribly isolated and some scary guy is going to get you before you can run across the street to the neighbors’ house.
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