Glowing plants on Pandora. Still only one-fifth as cool as on the big screen.

I always try to avoid learning too much about a film before I see it. Reading other critics’ reviews is out — I’m the Movie Critic Next Door because I’m not a professional and I don’t know what I’m doing. Wait, that didn’t come out right. I mean I’m not supposed to sound like every other film critic out there… and, well, I’m pretty sure I’ve succeeded at that, for better or for worse.
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Conan the Barbarian

Momoa v. Schwarzenegger. Check out those swords.

Between the time when the oceans drank Atlantis, and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of. Morgan Freeman says it in the voiceover, so it must be true, even if it does sound faintly silly. It’s about the only thing this version has in common with the first Conan movie, though, so I thought I might as well mention it.

Continue reading “Conan the Barbarian”